Technicalities

So day 13 and 14 on Body Rock is supposed to be rest days but because I rested last week when I wasn't supposed to, I figured I'd only rest on day 13 and skip 14's rest. Big mistake.

Starting off with a whine session is bad but it's how I'm feeling so deal with it. Plus, you don't have to read any further. But I always end it on a positive note. Just wait, you'll see...

Work seems to drain me. And being sick makes it worse. I walk in yesterday to find out my co-worker went to the doctor and she had an ear infection along with a throat full of puss. I know the germs making me feel gross started in my throat but are now resting there and in my sinuses and occasionally bother my ears. We started a new project with my main account at work and with how stressful my job is without that, I just don't have time to be sick but I hate doctors! They look at me and tell me I'm fine without really testing for anything.

But AFTER each workout this weekend, I would feel better. My body rests better and I can breath better for a while and I have the feel good natural endorphin's. It was awesome.

Well I didn't work out yesterday and I came home and slept. Couldn't breath. Had a headache. The tension from work just made me sooo tired.  I woke up today and felt worse. We don't have any air flow at work. No windows. We're in the second floor in a cramped space. Everyone is sick. Everyone is short tempered. Everyone is mean. I just want to sit in a corner and cry. I don't want to be there. I don't want people talking to me.

So I decided to do workout 15 today. They changed it up. It's so much more cardio and longer weight intervals. I got 1/4 of the way through and started crying. I don't feel like I can do this today. My head is saying no and my body isn't going to do it without me telling it to... I'm anxious, I still can't breath and I'm repeating things that people said to me today at work. I keep saying to myself that today is bad and tomorrow is fine. Its a day were giving up would be ok because it's supposed to be a rest day anyway. I'm still sick. My head is pounding. I don't want to be anywhere but invisible.

BUT I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE UP. I'm writing this to get my head in the right place. If I make myself invisible when I feel like this, then I have a chance of becoming invisible to myself too. I let those things that are bothering me conquer me. I choose how things affect me and today, I'm going to really push through it. I will let you know in a little over an hour how I do. But today is not the day I loose. Today I conquer myself! And yes, I'm still taking care of my body... drinking water, eating healthy, taking vitamins and resting to get over my sickness. I'm not pushing the workouts, I'm just doing them. And for 1 hour, I can also get my mind in the right place... And that's what I'm choosing to do now. BAM!